What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize