so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
