It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
