Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
