Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
