dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
