Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
