he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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