you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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