Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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