His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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