escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
