I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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