I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
