dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
