do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
