On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
