I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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