He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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