Screwed.edu
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize