He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
