Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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