Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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