Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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