I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
