last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
