Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
