Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
