Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I need to sanitize my soul.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
