You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
How external is "for external use only"?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
