actually, I'm a sock model
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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