i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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