i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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