if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
