is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
