My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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