I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
