you would pick up someone in the library
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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