their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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