He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
