i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
