Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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