So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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