some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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