"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
