Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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