I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
