No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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