I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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