are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize