Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
