don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize