Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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