U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
