Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
