Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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