why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize
