i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize