Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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